here's the deal.

Ok, so here's the deal. My life has changed drastically and I haven't been blogging. At all. I am very upset about this! But, the good news is, I WILL make an effort to blog more often.

I am married. Glory!!!

I am a teacher.

I am a dance teacher.

I am ministry wife.

I am busy!!!

But I love every second of it. Sometimes is get to the point where I feel overwhelmed, but then I think, "Will I want to look back at my life and say that days went by that I wasted, or would I want to say that every day went by seized?" I choose the latter! With that, every day I have been learning new things about becoming a better lady. Less complaining, more listening. Less negative, more positive. Less laziness, more drive. Less stress, more "blessed". Less can't, more try. I love learning. I love looking for ways to better myself and my husband. I am very blessed to have women in my life to look up to and learn from. They will never know how much of an impact they have had on this girl.

About the husband, I love him so dearly. Marriage is the best thing that has ever happened to us and we seriously love EVERY MINUTE OF IT. Yah know, when couples get married, people say that "you'll be tired of her/him soon" and whatever else they can come up with? I refuse to accept those comments and for those seeking marriage, don't believe it. If Jordan and I have learned one thing, it is that marriage is what you make it. You must leave work at work. You must wake up every day thankful to have each other and be willing to serve each other in the best way possible. You must be excited about what the other is excited about. You must put forth effort. Marriage is not something that can be successful just because a ring is on your finger. It is so much deeper. I am just so thankful to have a man like Jordan.

Lots of thoughts, but not enough time to write!! I wish I could tell you all that my heart is feeling and seeing, but it'll come soon. I must finish painting. :) I hope you have a peaceful week, full of fall fun!

a little girl's dream..

Dearest readers,

I couldn't begin to express the amount of things that I have learned throughout my student teaching experience. Perhaps, I shouldn't even call it student teaching, or teaching internship, it should be something more like my heart song experience. Why heart song, because I have waited a lifetime for my heart to sing to the children of this nation. God, let it not be my voice they hear, but Yours. This opportunity, which is the start to a whole new chapter in my life, has been a dream of a little princess {my family may say otherwise ;)} since the beginning of time, as I played "teacher" with my older sister. As this student teaching frame is coming to a halt, I am beginning to realize how much God is speaking to this little girl at heart. I have many desires, many dreams, many treasures I want to make, and many lives I want to touch. Much of these aspirations can be thanked of the people and places that encouraged and pushed me along the way. One of these people (or group) that can be thanked, specifically related to teaching, is non other but my cooperating teacher and first class(es), 4A and 4B. If I could write them a letter of appreciation, it might sound something like this:

Dear 4A and 4B,

Your love an acceptance for me, Ms.B, will never be forgotten. Although you may believe that everyday I was teaching you lessons about geometry, astronomy, and government, you were also teaching me many lessons. Lessons about love, acceptance, and care. Lessons about going against the odds and shooting for your dreams. Lessons about being dependable and being a good friend. Lessons about simply being you. These lessons go without recognition on a daily basis. Now that my time with you is over, I am realizing how much of an impact each you has made on my life. Together, we have learned that it is the little things in life that really matter, such as sharing your paper with a friend, using self-control by controlling your actions and what you say, and being in alphabetical order when you line up. Boys and girls, these are lessons that most of the world still need to learn today. I'll never forget your corky stories as you walked in the door, or the stories that were breaking your heart to tell, as well as mine, as your world was crumbling around you. I'll never forget your little, precious hearts. They are hearts of gold. Please keep them that way, and don't get wrapped up into what the world says your heart should be. I'll never forget your encouraging words, gentle hugs, and sleepy "good mornings". You have already taught me so much about how to be a teacher and I am forever grateful. But, you have also taught me how to be a better role model and to appreciate each of you individually.

And to Mrs. Young, my gratefullness is exploding even more. Your guidance and direction was so gentle and kind. Your continuous encouraging words helped get me through a milestone. Your name is added to my list of most influential women throughout my life. To you, I may have been just another practicum student. To me, you are a hard-working mother, daughter, sister, friend, and teacher. I have taken count of your daily positive attitude and enthusiasm to get the job done. I have also taken count of the effort you put towards keeping your family strong, with food on the table and precious moments spent. Not enough "thank you's" could be said in appreciation of all the time spent giving me advice about teaching or discussing this journey called life. You have become more than just a cooperating teacher, but a friend. I'll keep the moments we have shared safe inside of my heart forever. Thank you for everything.

Love, Ms. B

peer into my heart.

Since I have started my blog, I have never taken the chance to really introduce who I am. Although, most everyone who reads my blog knows who I am and what I'm about. But for those who don't, here is a peer into my heart.

I want to begin explaining some of the events that have taken place that have made me who I am today. For starters, I love Jesus. I am passionate about seeing His glory throughout the earth. I love to worship God and give him a fragrant offering of praise. He is my Redeemer, Provider, and so much more. I grew up in a Christian home, I was always taken care of. I was always strong-willed and loved being outside. I believe that being raised in a household where I was accepted and loved has a lot to do with who I am today. When I was 15, my father died suddenly of a massive heart attack. Ever since then, my life has changed drastically. Throughout the next couple of years, I was given the choice to either be depressive of what I had lost within my family, or to be appreciative of the blessings that continuiously came my way, and to live the life that God has planned for me. I chose option 2. The lessons I have learned and knowledge I have gained because of that decision constantly leaves me astonished.

During this time of discovery, I discovered a boy named Jordan (or, Jordan discovered me). Jordan constantly leaves me speechless...not to sound cliche. I feel unworthy to be loved so much by one person, no matter what. He has played many roles throughout the (almost) 6 years we have been together. I just can't help but wonder what marriage and family will be like with this cute dude. Literally, it scares me to think where I would be without him.

Some other events that have molded me to what I am today include taking a leap and coming to college. College has taught me many lessons about life, friendship, responsibility, character, ministry, and tons more. Many important people have given love, time, and money to help me succeed, which has definitely molded my well-being. My gratitude and thankfulness to these individuals reaches to the sky.

So, here I am. Chelsea Bedenbaugh- engaged, soon to be college grad, daughter, little sister, big sister, aunt, friend, student teacher, and determined change-maker. I want to make a difference. I don't want a spotlight, but I want to make a difference. I want to be a wife of wisdom and encouragement. I want to be a daughter and grand-daughter to be proud of. I want to be a friend of loyalty and love. I want to be a leader without compromise. I want to be a teacher of impact, with passion. I want to love others, no matter what. I want to be a dance teacher. I want to be a creative and inspiring blogger. I want to have an eye for cosmetology. I want a huge craft room in my house to make beautiful trinkets with my hands. I want to be convicted by Jesus.

I love creativity. I love creating. I love to hear the life-story of others. I love being a little girl at heart. I love the thought of being a mother. I love the funny stories of childhood. I love not fitting in with the crowd. I love sunny, Sunday afternoons with the windows open. I love watching Jordan being successful. I love house hunting. I love the comfort of knowing that no one else can be me. I love not worrying about being skinny. I love feeling beautiful. I love reflecting back on my life and realizing what the Lord has done. I love learning.

My heart breaks for the broken. My heart breaks for the lost. My heart breaks for the fatherless. My heart breaks for the abandonded. My heart breaks for the widowed mother. It breaks for the self-concious daughter. My heart breaks for Jesus.

This is me. These are my stories. This is my blog.

news flash.

Whew. Taking very deep breathes seems popular lately, for me at least. What a journey this semester has already been. A beautiful journey, but definitely a journey.

To all of those full-time teachers out there, kudos. It's tough stuff. Very rewarding, but seeing your rewards requires long hours and lots of planning. I have loved student teaching thus far, and I say that sincerely. I have a wonderful cooperating teacher and wonderful students. The hardest part for me has been the whole night working thing. I've always known that teachers take work home at nights, but I never realized the tiredness is brings. I am a night owl. I love being up at nights and doing fun things, however, my nights now end at 9pm. Teaching is a profession where there are never completed to-do lists, there is always something you could be doing. Is is also a profession of many hats, you may be a caregiver, leader, or friend. But most of all, it is a profession of excitement and adventure. Every day is an adventure, you never know if your students will walk in eager to learn, or ready to go home already. It's tough. It's fun. It's tiring. It's seeing success in students. It's making an impact. It's teaching and learning.

I finished reading the book of Matthew last night. I love that book. It's so rich with works of Jesus, proof of His faithfulness and mercy. One of the scriptures that has impacted me is from chapter 9, verse 13. It states, "Go and learn what this means: I desire mercy and not sacrifice. For I didn't come to call the righteous, but sinners." This struck deep. You know, many times as Christians, we perceive ourselves as being better than those that are not saved, thinking we are of great advantage. To an extent, yes, we belong to the Kingdom, but if it was not for God's mercy we would be in the same predicament. Along with that, we have no mercy for those that are lost, yet we sacrifice our time, money, and effort to make sure we make it to heaven. But, what Jesus is saying in this scripture is that if you have no mercy, than your sacrifice is of no importance. I personally believe that God cares more for those living in sin, than the "saved folk" who think everything in their lives is perfect. It is proven in the second half of the scripture that God cares more about saving sinners than making sure the righteous know their calling. When I read that scripture, it just hit me hard, thought I would share. It's one of those scriptures that I posted in my room, something I need to be reminded of daily.

Many people are asking about wedding plans, they are going good, I seem to think. Tasks are getting accomplished slowly and when I have time, but I am convincing myself that it is OK. It will get done. It will be beautiful. It will be a dream come true. According to my Royal Carribean app, the wedding is exactly 5 months and 11 days away. Glory. :)

And for the grand finale, I finally met my niece this past weekend. I have missed her everyday since. I am in LOVE!!! Miss Iris is just the cutest, sweetest thing. I picked up my sister, Lauren, on Friday and stayed at my Granny's house. Saturday, we both drove to Charlotte to see Lindsay's little family. We were there to witness Iris's "first day out". We ventured to Hobby Lobby, Target, O'Charley's, and Wal-Mart. She slept the whole time and we got comments from precious old ladies. It was so fun, and good time with family. On Sunday, we returned to Columbia, just in time to celebrate my Papa's 84th birthday. Busy weekend, but worth it.

So there it is folks, a life update. Sorry so random. Got to love the life of a college student. :)