Thursday, September 16, 2010

my comfort.

Last Thursday, I had the opportunity to attend a Parent Teacher Association (PTA) meeting at my cooperating school. As I sat down in the auditorium chair, I wasn't sure what to expect. There was a variety of parents surrounding me and a few fellow classmates. Some parents had many piercings and tattoos, while others had their clothes and hair perfectly placed, hoping that others would notice how "perfect" their lives were. Most of the students at this school are characterized as middle class, although it is a low-income area. The program began with announcments and gifts for leaders in the association, and also an agreement of the budget proposed. Next, was something spectacular- performances by the third grade. As cute as can be, the students were dressed as cowboys, plumbers, and movie stars with the theme, "Free to Be Me". As I looked around, I saw parents sitting at the edge of their seats and pulling out their cameras to get a good look at their shining students. It makes me very happy when I see parents taking part of their child's education.

But, I witnessed something that night that made me feel the opposite of happy. Sitting in the row ahead of me, there was an older couple. The woman could be categorized as "perfectly placed". Her hair-perfect, her makeup- overdone, her clothes-expensive. Sitting on her lap throughout the program was a little girl, probably aged at 6 years old. About 3/4ths the way through the spectacular singing, the little girl walked across the aisle to another woman. This woman was less "put together" with frizzy curly hair, no make-up, and a plain white shirt. Thought that came to mind, "Ok, that must be her mother, and the couple closest to me, her grandparents." After arguing about something with her mother, she returned to who I thought was her grandparents. The next part of this story is what broke my heart. After the third grade classes sang their little hearts out, a little boy came walking up the aisle. Still dressed in his stage costume, anxious to see his family for hugs and acceptance. The mother that was to the right of me, whom the young girl went to earlier, was motioning him to come to the back of the room. To the left of me, the other couple made eye contact with the boy for him to walk towards them. I immediately felt tension all around me. The obvious picture, these two little ones were part of a heart-breaking divorce. My heart immediately broke for them. The expression on the boys face, when his mother was telling him to go one way but his father was wanting him to come another way, is something that I'll never forget. He was confused. He was torn. He was desperate for love. My eyes immediately filled with tears.

Maybe it hit me hard because I feel like I've been in his place before, but in another dimension. Or, possibly it was only the hurt on his young face that was so heart-wrenching. Either way, I saw all of the hurt and confusion that his parents caused through their divorce on his face that instant. It flashed through my mind like a reel of film. I imagined images, feelings, and unanswered questions at that moment.

Recently, I have been listening to the new Ramp CD (a must-have once it fully releases). One of my favorite songs on that CD has been "Nothing But the Blood". This isn't the historical hymn that probably just popped into your head, but a revised verson written by Matt Redman. The lyrics:

Your blood speaks a better word
Than all the empty claims
I’ve heard upon this earth
Speaks righteousness for me
And stands in my defense
Jesus it’s Your blood

What can wash away our sins?
What can make us whole again?
Nothing but the blood
Nothing but the blood of Jesus
What can wash us pure as snow?
Welcomed as the friends of God
Nothing but Your blood
Nothing but Your blood King Jesus

Your cross testifies in grace
Tells of the Father’s heart to make a way for us
Now boldly we approach
Not by earthly confidence
It’s only Your blood

This weekend, these words hit me hard and it brought back to my rememberance this family, the children especially. It's amazing to me how Jesus loves his people, that His way is sufficient for us. Although everything else comes up void, including family problems, He speaks righteousness for me, and stands in my defense. I hope this little boy knows that even though things might not be quite right at home, and he doesn't know who to turn to, Jesus is there. His heavenly Father made a way for him. The same applies for all of us.

Thank you Jesus for your blood that covers me.