Sunday, March 6, 2011

peer into my heart.

Since I have started my blog, I have never taken the chance to really introduce who I am. Although, most everyone who reads my blog knows who I am and what I'm about. But for those who don't, here is a peer into my heart.

I want to begin explaining some of the events that have taken place that have made me who I am today. For starters, I love Jesus. I am passionate about seeing His glory throughout the earth. I love to worship God and give him a fragrant offering of praise. He is my Redeemer, Provider, and so much more. I grew up in a Christian home, I was always taken care of. I was always strong-willed and loved being outside. I believe that being raised in a household where I was accepted and loved has a lot to do with who I am today. When I was 15, my father died suddenly of a massive heart attack. Ever since then, my life has changed drastically. Throughout the next couple of years, I was given the choice to either be depressive of what I had lost within my family, or to be appreciative of the blessings that continuiously came my way, and to live the life that God has planned for me. I chose option 2. The lessons I have learned and knowledge I have gained because of that decision constantly leaves me astonished.

During this time of discovery, I discovered a boy named Jordan (or, Jordan discovered me). Jordan constantly leaves me speechless...not to sound cliche. I feel unworthy to be loved so much by one person, no matter what. He has played many roles throughout the (almost) 6 years we have been together. I just can't help but wonder what marriage and family will be like with this cute dude. Literally, it scares me to think where I would be without him.

Some other events that have molded me to what I am today include taking a leap and coming to college. College has taught me many lessons about life, friendship, responsibility, character, ministry, and tons more. Many important people have given love, time, and money to help me succeed, which has definitely molded my well-being. My gratitude and thankfulness to these individuals reaches to the sky.

So, here I am. Chelsea Bedenbaugh- engaged, soon to be college grad, daughter, little sister, big sister, aunt, friend, student teacher, and determined change-maker. I want to make a difference. I don't want a spotlight, but I want to make a difference. I want to be a wife of wisdom and encouragement. I want to be a daughter and grand-daughter to be proud of. I want to be a friend of loyalty and love. I want to be a leader without compromise. I want to be a teacher of impact, with passion. I want to love others, no matter what. I want to be a dance teacher. I want to be a creative and inspiring blogger. I want to have an eye for cosmetology. I want a huge craft room in my house to make beautiful trinkets with my hands. I want to be convicted by Jesus.

I love creativity. I love creating. I love to hear the life-story of others. I love being a little girl at heart. I love the thought of being a mother. I love the funny stories of childhood. I love not fitting in with the crowd. I love sunny, Sunday afternoons with the windows open. I love watching Jordan being successful. I love house hunting. I love the comfort of knowing that no one else can be me. I love not worrying about being skinny. I love feeling beautiful. I love reflecting back on my life and realizing what the Lord has done. I love learning.

My heart breaks for the broken. My heart breaks for the lost. My heart breaks for the fatherless. My heart breaks for the abandonded. My heart breaks for the widowed mother. It breaks for the self-concious daughter. My heart breaks for Jesus.

This is me. These are my stories. This is my blog.