Sunday, October 3, 2010

all natural.

Please allow me to be honest-all natural. Have you ever realized how much time can affect the way you live your life? Sound confusing? Let me explain.

Just time, alone. I got to thinking about this recently, comparing and configuring where all of it goes. Specifically in my life, my daily doings. I have been struggling the past 2 weeks with motivation and a drive to stay on task efficiently with mostly schoolwork. It is my senior year and I am fully pursuaded that senoritis is a real disease that affects college seniors everywhere. I haven't been 100% clear on why I have been feeling this way, whether it be laziness, early mornings and late nights, or simply my time with Jesus (the lack of). I am the type of person whom good grades do not come easily. Therefore, I must give a lot of time and effort to get As and Bs. Consequently, other priorities seem to get pushed to the side. Priorities that matter more than getting straight As and are of greater significance. Because my days are usually jam-packed from beginning to end and my return to my quaint dorm room is not until 10-11pm, which is then shower and bed, I have not been making room for my quiet time with Jesus.

I was talking with a good friend recently about my attitude and how I've hated it, not necessarily towards people, but really just my perception of things. Soon after, The Lord began dealing with my heart about where/how I am spending my time. This challenge continued as I thought about how much "time" has a control over our lives. Everything revolves around the clock, either you have time do spend with friends, or you don't. Either you have time to make a quick trip to visit family, or you don't. Either you have time to run to the store, or you don't. It was quite frightening to think that if time is wasted and not used effectively, it is lost. It cannot be regained. This led me to another thought, I am not performing at the best of my ability because I have not spent enough quality time with Jesus. Now I'm not saying my relationship with Him has been obsolete, just saying not enough time has been spent with Him. Ya know, I don't think we really realize how important Jesus is for our lives, until we try to live on our own. We, as human beings, are filthy rags. We are dirty, broken, and lost.

Although most Christians believe that a daily walk with Jesus is not required, that a single prayer for salvation and an occasional hand raise will do, I believe the opposite. Yes, we must pray a prayer of salvation, but Jesus deserves more than what we feel like giving after a long day of classes or work. Luke 9:23 says, "And he said to them all, if any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me." We must first deny ourselves. For me, I need to make sure that time is set specifically aside for "quiet time" and also that the words that come forth from my mouth are encouraging and not self-seeking. I must take up my cross and follow Jesus wholeheartedly, without constraint.

This week, I challenge you to seek out what you need to deny in your life to become a carrier of the cross.